


Our Little Secret

by minikawa



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Cute Kids, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, because all of pedro pascal's characters have dad energy soooooooo, javi being good with kids, steve and javier being absolutely in love with each other, they just dont know that the other knows yet lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:55:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29689833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minikawa/pseuds/minikawa
Summary: Javier watches over Olivia while Steve is working late. While playing with the baby, Javier comes to a realization about him and Steve...
Relationships: Steve Murphy/Javier Peña
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	Our Little Secret

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pedromiamor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pedromiamor/gifts).



> hello my friends! i promised i'd write something happier after the sadness that was in the last fic! a couple notes:
> 
> -i would like to dedicate this oneshot to pedromiamor for your birthday! i saw on the latest chapter of your fic that the 24th is your birthday, so i would like to dedicate this one to you!! i hope you have a wonderful b-day and that you find many blessings along the way!! <33
> 
> -in this fic, connie and steve are separated, but connie's still working in colombia so they both get to take turns having custody over olivia
> 
> -and of course, i had to write about javier playing with the baby. because we all know pedro pascal's characters are all hot loving dads (Din, Max Lord, Marcus Moreno...). im sad the show didnt give us any moments with javi and olivia, so here's me making up for it!!

No one would have thought that Javier Peña was good with kids. He always seemed like the “don’t-talk-to-me-or-I’ll-stab-you-with-a-pencil” kind of guy on the outside. Little did they know, Javier was actually experienced in the ways of babysitting—he had several nieces and nephews whom he adored, and although he didn’t see them often, they always looked forward to each and everyone of his visits. He spoiled them rotten with sweets, games, and toys whenever he got the chance to visit, and he couldn’t resist giving them piggyback rides whenever they demanded it. He was the Fun Uncle kind of guy, the kind who may have been gruff on the outside, but held a soft spot for the little ones around him. 

Which was why Steve had entrusted Olivia in Javier’s care. He had to work late that night, leaving his daughter and his partner to their own devices. Steve had trusted Javier with his life throughout the many years of working together during the war on Escobar, so there was no doubt in his mind that Javier would do the same for Olivia as he did for him. 

“Make sure she eats her peas. She doesn’t like them, but she’ll need her greens if she’s gonna grow up big and strong,” Steve had advised him before leaving for work. “Oh, and try to get her to bed before 9:00. Make sure she has her yellow blankie too, she won’t be able to sleep without it...unless you want her crying in your ear all night. Also, don’t forget to sing her a lullaby, she’ll need that to sleep too-”

“I got it, Murphy, I got it,” Javier had snickered. “She’s in good hands, I promise.” 

So now here he was, sitting criss-crossed on the floor with Olivia as he tried to feed her dinner. He held a spoonful of soft mashed vegetables to her mouth, only for her to turn her head away with a pout.

“C’mon, Olivia, open wide,” Javi coaxed her gently, “Here comes the airplane!” Imitating aircraft noises to the best of his ability (oh dear, did he feel silly), he slowly guided the spoon toward her mouth. Olivia merely blinked at him twice before smacking the spoon away from her face, sending the mashed goop of veggies splattering on Javier’s shirt. 

“Oh come on!” Javier whined, shooting Olivia a playful glare. “This was a gift from Vanessa! She is  _ not  _ gonna be happy if she finds out…” 

Olivia giggled, blowing a raspberry in his direction. Javier rolled his eyes. 

“You got this from your papá, didn’t you?” he said. “You’re a goofball, just like him...and just as stubborn too.” He gently poked the baby in her tummy, earning him another giggle. 

Javier set the bowl and spoon down on the floor to scoop Olivia into his arms. “And you know what happens to stubborn little guys like you?” He grinned wickedly. “They get attacked by The Tickle Monster!” He gently tickled her tummy, and Olivia squealed in delight, squirming in his grip. Javier laughed, tickling her a couple more times before pulling her close in a hug, rocking her slowly. 

“Come to think of it, you laugh like your papá too,” Javier said with a fond smile, “You know, all loud and boisterous, like you haven’t got a care in the world. Although your laugh is way cuter than Steve’s.” He chuckled. “But then again...Steve’s laugh is pretty cute too.”

Oh shit, did he just admit that out loud? Javier cringed at himself, blushing slightly “You didn’t hear me say that,” he muttered.

Olivia just looked up at him in curiosity, tilting her adorable little head. Gah, she was just too darn cute! Javier affectionately ruffled her hair, causing her to whine and push his hand away. 

“Sorry, kid,” he said, smiling apologetically. “And you’re just as fussy about your hair as Steve too.” He smoothed her hair back, styling it in a way that semi-resembled Steve’s usual slicked-back look. He chuckled to himself, and Olivia giggled along without understanding. 

“Steve’s a lucky guy to have a kid like you, y’know that?” Javier said to the baby as he cradled her in his arms. “He’s been a different guy since you came into his life. I never knew the guy could be so cuddly and affectionate. No matter how rough our day could have been, he lights up whenever he sees you...and well...I can’t help but light up when I see him that happy.” 

He felt a little silly, rambling to a baby. But it had been a long while since Javier had been able to speak his thoughts out loud. And it wasn’t like little Olivia was gonna snitch on him...right? 

“Your papá’s a good man. He might be an idiot sometimes, but I’ve never met anyone with a heart as big as his. He’s smart, and funny, he knows just what to say whenever work gets rough. He’s had my back more times than I can count. I’ve never trusted my life with anyone more than I have with him.” As he spoke, he felt a little squeeze somewhere within his chest, to his core. “I feel like I haven’t done enough for him...sometimes I feel like I drag him down into my mess. He got abducted because of my stupid mistakes! I don’t...I’m not good enough for him.” 

He sighed heavily, sniffling. Olivia cooed, reaching up to gently pat his face. Oh, Javier’s heart clenched! He smiled softly, patting her on the head. 

“Thanks, kid. Sorry to get all mushy over there...I promise to do better by your father. I’d give my entire life to protect him, to keep him safe so that he could come home to you in one piece. He means the world to me, and I’d die a thousand times before I let anyone hurt him ever again. I love him more than anything-” 

He stiffened, blinking slowly as everything he had just said began to sink in. It felt strange yet familiar at the same time. His heart had always known what it wanted—he could never deny the way it soared whenever his partner smiled, or the way it ached whenever they were apart. But this was the first time he had ever said the words out loud. 

“I...I love him,” Javier whispered to himself. “I love him...I love him!” Every time he repeated the words, the more they became real to him. They encompassed his heart, affirming the feelings he hid inside since the day he and Steve met. 

Olivia responded with a yawn. Her head had slumped onto Javier’s shoulder, and her eyelids were beginning to droop. Javier sighed, hoisting her up in his arms.    
  
“This can be our little secret, okay?” he said as he stood up to tuck her in bed. 

Not long after Javier had tucked the little one into her crib, a tired looking Steve had come home from work. “How was my little peach? Did she behave?” he asked. 

“Like a little angel,” Javier responded with a smile. “Although I think she’s gaining a bit of an attitude...probably got it from her papá.” He jokingly nudged Steve with his elbow, causing his partner to roll his eyes. 

“Huh, if she’s giving you attitude then you probably deserved it,” Steve smirked at the way Javier pouted at him. He reached into the cooler and grabbed two beers, passing one to Javier as they seated themselves on the living room sofa. 

“Attitude aside,” Javier said, “she’s a good kid. She’s gonna do some great things, I’m sure of it...just like her papá.”

Steve laughed. “Oh come on, don’t get all mushy on me, you sap. Besides, you give me way too much credit...and you don’t give yourself  _ enough  _ credit, either.”

Javier stiffened, blinking slowly. “W-What do you mean…?”   


“You know what I mean.” Steve met his partner’s gaze. His eyes were the most tender that Javier had ever seen. “Do you really think you’re not good enough?”

Shit. 

“Hang on...you were  _ listening  _ to all that?” 

“Okay, you got me,” Steve put his hands up. “I might have...well, I did end up coming home a little earlier than expected. And I saw you playing with Olivia so I didn’t wanna interrupt you guys...and then you started telling her about...y’know…” 

Oh shit, shit, shit! Javier groaned, burying his face in his hands. He wished the earth would just open up and swallow him into a deep, dark pit of nothingness. 

“I’m sorry you had to hear that…”

“Jav, look at me.” Steve’s voice was soft and non-judgemental. Slowly, Javier raised his head from his hands, hesitating to meet Steve’s gaze once more. Steve took a deep breath, hands fiddling with his beer bottle before speaking. 

“Okay, I know I suck at this feelings stuff but...don’t you ever think that you aren’t good enough for me, alright?” he reached over and took one of Javier’s hands in his own, squeezing it gently. “Do you know what keeps me going every goddamn day we survive this hellish drug war? What keeps me going is whenever you bring me coffee in the morning, you always know just the right amount of sugar I like in it.” He chuckled, smiling fondly. “What keeps me going is whenever you laugh at my dumb jokes, even though you think they’re lame. What keeps me going is knowing that you have my back—you’ve looked out for me since day one, and without you I’d still be flailing around trying to find my way in a country far from home. But you...you bring home a whole lot closer.”

Javier stared at Steve, speechless. His eyes had begun to sting, and he quickly wiped at the developing tears before they could fall. He opened his mouth to speak, only to close it again. No words could do his heart justice, and he felt silly that all he could do was stare at his partner all teary-eyed like a lovesick puppy. 

“What I’m trying to say is…” Steve sighed, scratching the back of his head. “What I’m trying to say is...you know what? Come here.” 

Before Javier could say a word, a pair of lips collided with his own. Javier’s mind went haywire as it scrambled to process what was happening before short-circuiting altogether. Steve’s lips felt soft and warm against his own, tasting like whiskey and coffee. Before he could fully process what just happened, Steve pulled away, blushing shyly.

“So, um, yeah…” Steve said with a shy smile. “You get the point.”

“I...I don’t think I got the point just yet,” Javier mumbled, his face flushed and his heart fluttering like a bird in a cage. “Do you think you could show me again?”

Steve blinked, before grinning widely. “It’d be my pleasure.” 

Javier’s mind didn’t short-circuit this time, allowing him to return the kiss. He closed his eyes and lost himself to the taste of Steve’s lips, feeling his partner’s arms slowly circle around his waist. The kiss was slow and tender, the both of them taking their sweet time to savor each other’s taste and touch. 

After what felt like forever, they had finally pulled away for air, both of them breathless. Javier nestled himself closer into Steve’s arms. His previous self-doubt faded into distant memory, replaced with reassurance and warmth. 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you guys enjoyed!! please let me know what yall think! ^_^
> 
> And yes, Javi is a dork for rambling to a baby xDD but babies can be very good listeners sometimes!


End file.
